I’m not the type of girl who likes spontaneity, or who welcomes it into her life very easily. In fact, I’m kind of just the opposite–resistant to anything that wasn’t in the set plans for the day. I’m very conscientious and aware of all my responsibilities, and as a result, I often miss out on certain opportunities in order to get done what I need to get done.
Sometimes, however, I believe that spontaneity is important. And so the other night, when an opportunity arose in which I had to make a spur-of-the-moment decision, I said yes.
Dan (my boyfriend) and I were fighting. It was 2 in the morning, and I’d just gone back to my dorm and he his. We were both really upset, but at the point where we were done outright arguing and now kind of just sad about the situation in general. (Aren’t those the worst kinds of fights?)
We were texting a little, mostly “I love you”s and “I’m sorry tonight was so awful.” In the midst of this, I sent him a completely random text with fun date ideas. One of these was going down to the shore one random night and sitting on the beach until the sun rose and then getting breakfast. I pointed this one out and said that we should do this some night. His reply was simply a “let’s go now.”
Now? I was thinking. That’s absolutely crazy. We both had classes in the morning, and I was pretty sure I was going to have a pop quiz that my professor had been hinting at. “I don’t knowww,” I said to him. A plea for him to make the decision for me.
“We don’t have to,” he told me kindly.
I sat in my bed. Thought about it some more. Looked around me. Sat some more. Hovered my fingers over the keyboard of my phone. And thought what the hell.
And so, at 2:30 in the morning, Dan and I picked up all our stuff and headed for the beach. We skipped our classes in the morning, but we didn’t care: we had eyes only for each other.
Looking back, I’m completely happy with this decision, and proud of myself for making it. Now I’m not saying that it’s a good idea to blow off all your responsibilities for a night of fun, but I’m saying that, occasionally, it’s important to remember what truly matters in life.
In ten years, I won’t remember the day I was fighting with Dan way late at night. I won’t remember waking up tired, or what I learned about in communications the next morning. But I will remember that night that I drove down to the beach with my boyfriend on a random whim, spending the night together and waking up in love.
So my point, I suppose, is don’t let life pass you by. Yeah, school and work are important. No one’s arguing that. But we can’t spend our whole lives so busy working that we forget to enjoy life.
Because really, what would be the point of that?
What’s the point of having good grades, of having money and nice things and a big house and a good job if we’re not happy about it? If our whole lives are wasted away, working and studying and missing out on opportunities, what was the point of all that work and studying in the first place?
I study now so that I can get good grades and therefore a job. But I miss out on a lot of experiences because of my studying, too. In trying to make sure I’m setting myself up for a good future, I’ve spent plenty of time staying home and doing school work rather than living life now, and enjoying the present.
When I was in high school, I found myself looking forward to when I would finally graduate and be in college. Now, I find myself looking forward to when I’ll finally graduate and be out in the real world. I’m not enjoying life when I do this. Yeah, it’s important to have goals and to look forward to the future–most definitely!
But it’s just as important, if not more so, to be happy in the moment.
I don’t want it to come my time to die, and to look back on my life and question if I’ve ever truly lived.
Lots of love,
P.S.: What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?